Missing (adj)
1. (of a thing) Not able to be found because it is not in its expected place.
2. Not present or included when expected or supposed to be.
It may seem that since I’m home with people I love this school year, there are not a lot of things that I should be missing. However, the sad fact is that there are a lot of things I’m missing, right here from the comfort of my room.
Right now, I’m missing time with my family. A thought that was sparked by an inadequate supper prepared by my wobbly father while I was holed up in my room, trying to figure out my mind boggling chemistry homework. Sitting alone at the table with my dad made me realize how badly I miss our family dinners that my mom spent an hour preparing. The numerous delicious and nutritious dishes involved in it and the care and devotion that went into something as seemingly monotonous as dinner was something that I really looked forward to. But I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed it until I realized that I missed it.
Which made me miss my mom. With her working all day till at least 7, usually 8, sometimes even 9 or 10 o’clock at night, I rarely get to see her during the week. When she does finally come home, I’m either in my room working, or already in bed, or at Andre’s house. Even on weekends, we both usually end up having somewhere to go.
I also miss my friends. Sure, there are people here in the Patch that I get along with, both at the barn and at school, but I can honestly say that I have not gone out with any of them (with the exception of the odd movie night with barn people) to just hang out, or go over to their houses to visit. I miss my social life and having somewhere to go, other than school and work.
I miss my horse. Someone came to look at her today, and she will probably be going to a new home in the next couple of weeks if all goes as planned. I’m glad that she’s found a new home with someone who will love her and care for her and pamper her, but I will most certainly miss her. I already miss how she used to be, before she had her baby. It’s been a long summer coming to terms with the fact that she probably never will be the same, and now having to realize that I need to let her go.
So although I know where all these things are, and expect them to be in a certain place, they are not where they are supposed to be. Maybe this is a selfish thought on my part, but lately I’ve been losing a lot of things that I hold dear to me, and tonight I’ve realized exactly how much I’ve been losing.
Hopefully those things that I am missing will find their way back to me soon enough. And in the deplorable case in which they don’t, well I guess instead of just being missing, they’ll be gone.
I miss you guys :)
Michele <3 <3 <3
p.s., I'm a horrible person... pants will be mailed out wednesday :S I'm sorryyyyyyyy
"Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end. If not always in the way we expect." - Luna Lovegood
ReplyDeleteAww Michele! *hugs* We're here for you whenever you need us, even if you can't see us and our hugs are virtual instead of gut squeezing. I'd like to think that you know you can come and talk to me about anything, even by email or text if you don't feel like saying it out loud, and I'll be here to listen. <3
I know how you feel about missing your family. I still have moments, even two years after my uncle died, where I think "What if I'm missing those last moments with my dad because I'm staying away at school?" It hurts and I can't honestly say it gets easier with time but what it does do is make you find ways to make it better. I'm always sending off notes to them during the day so, even if I'm not seeing my parents everyday anymore, they always know I'm around and I love them.
I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to go with how teenagers (or young 20 years olds now ;P) behave around their parents, ignoring them and pretending that they don't matter because I would never want there to be any doubt about how I felt about them if it was too late for me to say it.
I really hope you feel better soon and that you aren't missing everything so terribly much but if you are give me a ring because I'd always love to hear from you :)
So much awwws!!
ReplyDelete*hugs* *more hugs* *further hugs*
I think Dina has said it better than I can, but I totally second her in always being her (sadly in a long distance capacity) for you anytime Michele, text, email, Skype, whatever, you call and I will be there!!
I really know how you feel about the spending time outside of classes thing. This year has been way better for me in one way, I have quite a few people I spend time with on campus, but never really anything outside of that. I miss having friends who I hang out with.
As to the lovely Diva, I want to hug you again. My brother regards the selling of Tigger, as my first break up in life. It killed me inside and I never even really owned him like you did Nala, I just loved him. I totally get how much this hurts, and wish I could be there to help you through this. Whatever you do, don't let people be condescending to you by saying 'it's just a horse', we both know better.
I also know what you mean about the family, Dina and Michele. My parents happened to be in the area and visited me this weekend, and I was so happy to see them, especially my Dad. I miss them and my brother too. This year has again been better though since at least I have reliable cell reception (owing to the lack of zinc plates) and can call home.
Love you muchly, please don't hesitate to give me a call either, I have no life other than homework once I get in at night, haha.
<3 <3 <3 <3
love you all. I guess all the neccessary sentiments have been shared but I echo them! It was nice just chit chatting today, we should do that more! love and hugs!
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