Ch-ch-ch-changes!

I realized that while there have been lots of posts about how we’ve grown up and changed I haven’t really said all that much about me. I threw some ideas around, but haven’t really sat down and written anything to you about how I’ve changed over the years.

Now I’m sure you know the story of poor little loner Dawn in elementary school being SOO excited to start high school at a place where no one knew that reputation. Gosh was I crazy in grade 9 , enjoying the freedom of expression.

I’d say the biggest way I’ve changed since then is that I’ve calmed down a lot. Sure it’s still not a good idea to give me sugar or caffeine, but I think I’ve let my intellectual/emotional side grow but most importantly I share it more. I’ve kept a journal since grade 8 and I LOVE looking back on everything I’ve written, it’s an amazing way to watch yourself retrospectively grow up. 

But here’s the kicker – what does it mean to grow up anyways? 

My Friend Adam from camp wrote me a letter and in it he mentioned how he has “Watched me grow into an energetic, optimistic, passionate and caring young woman”

Was I not those things before? Or are these traits more prominent in my personality now?

I’d like to share with you an excerpt from my journal ( THIS IS A HUGE DEAL! :P ) 

I was excited about something, but then criticized myself for acting “childish”.

“I try to be grown-up about things before I realise – grownups have emotions too. Probably stronger, deeper emotions because of their life experiences. Adult feel things deeply and they too occasionally let their emotions take over – they too are sometimes scared of the magnitude of life. 

Maybe there isn’t a real difference between children and adults – not if you grow up right. Adults should still have the “child-like” qualities of curiosity and creativity and energy.

One thing I know is that there isn’t anything that just clicks into place. No one event turns you into an adult. No-body just flips a switch. Life is a process of changes but at the heart of it all – it’s just life.” 

I’d like to be able to say “________ changed my life”. But there are too many things to fill that blank in with.  High school, university, drama camp, Postsecret, Rent, Listening to Holocaust Survivor Eva Olssen, Grade 9 english, Grade 12 Challenge and Change in Society, going to camp, Harry Potter, poetry, The core 4, the pants, the boys I’ve dated, my family, the entire Europe trip, learning to express myself, Shel Silverstein, 1000 awesome things...

I don’t know if these rants of mine are intended to go anywhere, but I find them interesting and I’ll probably never stop doing them. Whether or not there is a greater truth to be found doesn’t matter to me as much as the fact that I can give myself (and others) some good thoughts to chew on – then maybe you’ll find your own epiphany. :)