Dina's Letter (with my responses)

Hey Dawn,

I seem to remember a time while you were at camp and you sent me a letter that said something along the lines of "I'm writing this on my journal paper and you should know how special you are to be getting it". Well now I"m returning the favour so you'd better appreciate it too.

I haven't actually written as much in this journal as I wanted to, kind of like my lack of blog posting. It used to be such a relief to get everything written down so it isn't bouncing around in my head anymore but all those things that are bouncing around keep saying thing like "Me first! I'm important!" and the writing always gets pushed back.

Now I have a perfect excuse to write a whole bunch of stuff down because "pants letters are mandatory" so a bit of priority is given. Get ready because there's a lot of stuff bouncing around.

First off I'll say that I was rather disappointed that I wasn't grilled about my date on Tuesday. (The reason for this is that I didn't know about it until much later when VALERIE told me. Otherwise you can bet your bottom that I would've bugged the HECK out of you) I suppose it has been my habit in the past to keep things very close until I'm ready to talk about them and maybe it's because of that you didn't ask. If so, I'd say a bit more persistence might get you some interesting details in the future. Now you don't have to ask becaues I want, and have a perfect medium, to tell you all about it.


First off, the only thing we'd really agreed upon before hand was that we were going to get together to get some coffee in order to "celebrate Rae (Dina's lady-friend) doing well on her midterm" (in quotations because this was a REALLY transparent excuse of a reason) About an hour before I sent her a text saying something along the lines of "I know we agreed to get hot beverages but there are several places around that sell said beverages so where shall we meet? " I've only included this text in the letter because she commented later about enjoying how nerdily I'd phrased it which makes me quite happy.


She suggested we go to Williams which I readily agreed on because they make fantastic London Fogs (not quite as good as Second Cup but nom nom nom...) This was also a choice that took the ambiguous coffee meeting another step into date territory as Williams has actual nice places to sti instead of questionable Tim Horton's chairs in our student center. For the few days since we'd agreed to get together I'd been going back and forth in my head about whether this was to be an actual date or not and generally leaning towards the not, mostly because, having previously never been on a mutually consensual date, I was a tad bit terrified at the prospect, if I'm honest.


(Also, I was, of course, wearing your pants while all of this was going on.)


Gosh, I think this next bit makes me sound like I"m in seventh grade again (it does but it's adorable ) but from the moment I met up with her to the moment we parted way there was always a part of my brain going "You should touch her... just reach out and take her hand... or at least walk closer to her so maybe you'll brush against her and it'll be totally natural" and another part going "Am I the one that's supposed to do that? Does it matter? What if I made it awkward? I don't want to be awkward because I don't like being awkward.... how "out" are we supposed to be? Should I be acting like it's more of a date? How does one act date-ish?" *sigh* Needless to say it was rather loud in my head but then, after we'd order and were sitting down to talk there were louder and clearer things like "I want to make her smile like that again" and "I love it when she laughs, I should try and make it happen again"
(the inner cheese queen in me is melting right now.)


We had been at Williams for 3h when I got hungry and suggested getting some dinner so we took turns guarding our booth while the other was ordering. Both of our sandwiches came with a pickle and a tomato, I at the tomatoes, and Rae at the pickles. About halfway through the first half of her sandwich Rae dropped a bunch of turkey out of her sandwich while she was biting it and said "I'm really glad you didn't see that." I told her I had but that I could pretend that I didn't because I knew she was embarrassed. We talked a bit more before I said "I feel like I should do something equally embarassing to make up for that" which she laughed at. Further on I was almost finished eating when she pointed out that nothing embarrassing had happened to me yet. I said "You're right" and wiped the remaining bit of my sandwich across my face so that I had a huge mayo smear on my cheek and then kept eating. She said I made her day :)
(This is the perfect story to tell at your wedding. Not to be creepy :P )


We were at Williams for 4 hours and talking almost continuously. I couldn't believe it had been that long! There were only time awkward silences and lots of smiles. My final "OMG TOTALLY A DATE" moment was when we paused before we split ways and there was definitely a tangible tension. I'm interested to see how Drag me goes... ( I think it went well! you?) though I'm not terribly certain of anything.


Well, I hope that was at least slightly interesting to you considering how long I've taken to write it.

OK Dina When the HECK are you going to just ask her to be your girlfriend?? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do it! you're so freaking cute together, and it would make you and her and everyone so happy. Seriously girl, make a move! ... Is that too forward of me? I apologize...


Now for a bit of pants specific recollection.


I got the pants on the same Friday that I met Rae although I didn't have them in my possission at the time. later that night Valerie and I went to the GSA's coming out Bonfire which was basically a whole bunch of people hanging out and serendipidously making tons of Harry Potter jokes. Valerie got to meet a few of my friends including my sort-of-bestie Mr Klein who knew her face from seeing pictures of the two of us dressed up for Deathly Hallows Pt 1. You'll get to meet him, hopefully, on Friday as he is the organizer of Drag Me and so will certainly be in attendance. (was he in a dress? :P)


I guess I should also further document that the pants came to me broken and hurting and I've done my best to heal them. ( a process well documented on the blog - thanks!) If I'm honest I like them more now than I did then because they've inherited a bit more character and a bit of me during their repairs. I've stitched my way around most of the exterior patched because the iron-on bit, while working well over the bits it was most needed on, has a habit of peeling up on the corners. Hopefully you'll finish my work and maybe add a piece or two of your own.


I wrote a midterm in your pants which I just found out I got an 85.5% on! Woot!
The biggest thing that happened to me in your pants was definitely an ongoing battle to let go of "shoulds" and "woulds" and "coulds" and turn them into actions and present focus. I spend an extraordinary amout of time inside my own head when it would probably be much better spent outside and in the presence of other people. I've tried to do that while wearing them and I think I succeeded at least marginally.


Much love Dawn! Wear them well,


Dina Briant